The Hair

When I lost my hair at age 17, I got a wig. There wasn't much available at the wig shop for a teenager, so I ended up with a big, curly, reddish wig my sister and I dubbed "Dottie," for the singer Dottie West. I wore the wig all the time - even in summer marching band and, after for some reason I had to get a new wig (no fun name this time), cross country.

If for some reason I would ever lose my hair again, I figured I wouldn't get a wig again. I was no longer a self-conscious teenager, and didn't want to deal with the hassle of a wig. But I'm planning to continue working, and that means traveling to new clinical sites and meeting new people. And I don't really want the first thing people to know about me be cancer patient. It's not that I'm embarassed or unwilling to talk about it, I just don't want to be thought of as sickly, I guess. (Tangent Alert: after my senior year of high school, about six months after my bone marrow transplant (no wig anymore), I went to Washington DC to march in the 4th of July parade with my marching band (we won). The weather was hot and our uniforms were not light. After we finished, people were feeling faint. Everyone would come up to me and ask how I was doing (it really was a lot of people). I was fine. A friend started feeling faint, so I ran over to the chaperone/doctor (did I mention I ran?). As soon as they saw me, everyone started asking me what was wrong, what did I need - I had a hard time insisting it was my friend who needed the help!)

So a couple weeks ago, I bought a wig. I'm not sure how much I'll wear it versus hats, but it's nice to have the option. I also feel it might offer a sense of normalcy.

A few days after round one, I got my hair cut. It's still a few inches long, but a change. Since I was told that I would lose my hair two to three weeks after my first chemo, I asked my brother to bring his electric shaver to our family Christmas. Tuesday my scalp started to hurt a bit, and if I ran my fingers through my hair I felt I had more hair than usual in my hand (I generally shed about as much as my cat). But it wasn't enough for me to be ready for a shave. Wednesday the scalp ache went away and I headed home. Of course, yesterday morning I started losing small clumps of hair in the shower. It was fine the rest of the day since I wasn't touching it. Today, though, I was too nervous to shower and style it - and I figure if I can't style it, it's time for it to go. Plus I want to ski with the ski team tomorrow, and I'm worried about trying to pull a hat on. So I have an appointment with Ramona, Becky, and an electric shaver a 8:00 tomorrow morning.